In the last year alone, farmers across the UK have had to deal with wildly fluctuating commodity prices, erratic and extreme weather events, and unwelcome news from governments. As farmers grapple to maintain viable businesses in an ever-changing landscape, NFFN farmer Ruth Ashton-Shaw from Low Auldgirth Steading in Dumfries and Galloway shares the psychological impact these challenges can have.

It was a typical Wednesday in January. The weather was doing its best to convince me the world might just end in mud. I’d just emptied the last bag of sheep feed into the trough, the hay shed was nearly bare, and my phone buzzed with a bank balance alert that made me feel physically ill. Even though it was nearing midday, the light had barely lifted the gloom, and the landscape outside looked more like churned sludge than the fields they were supposed to be.

I stood in the sheep shed, motionless, watching the pregnant ewes calmly chewing the cud. They were oblivious - warm, dry, full-bellied. But I wasn’t. I was utterly exhausted. Lambing was three weeks away, the worst of winter was still to come, and spring felt like a fantasy. In that moment, I felt totally alone. The pressure was inescapable, and the cracks were beginning to show.

This could have been any farm, on any winter’s day, anywhere in the UK. But in that moment, it was just me, in a cold shed, realising that I might not be able to keep going.

I’d come into farming late and naïvely - with an urban background, a romantic notion of rural life, and no concept of just how steep the learning curve would be. I’d once lived in a world of weekends off, regular paydays, and manageable expectations. Farming blew all that apart. Its relentless cycles and hard life lessons humbled me fast. It could be breathtaking and soul-destroying all in the same day. Yet despite the challenges, I loved it. There’s an indescribable joy in working outdoors on the land, being part of a movement that’s spanned continents and generations. Growing my own food gave me an enormous sense of empowerment. I felt like I had a purpose here.